In this article, we will tickle your funny bone with these funny Bible verses and Scriptures. It’s amazing what humorous verses we can find when we dig into the Bible.
Now, the Word of God is nothing to laugh at, but some verses can make you chuckle. I know for me I have run into some funny Bible verses while reading the Bible.
When it comes to silly bible verses, one of my fondest memories was when a guest speaker came to our ministry class. And he said I love funny Bible verses like Job 10:10…
“Did you not pour me out like milk and curdle me like cheese”
This just tickled me pink, and to this day, sometimes I will sometimes write on a little piece of paper at church…” A word for you…Job 10:10,” and pass it to a friend. They open it up, grab their Bibles, and laugh.
They, of course, know I am playing with them and find the verse funny.
What Makes A Bible Verse Hilarious?
Before we look at these funny Bible verses, let’s go over what makes them funny. I find that there are 3 things that help contribute to them being funny or hilarious.
- Personality: Everyone’s personality is different. What I think is funny may not be funny to you or vice versa. This happens even when we read the Bible. Genesis 22:21 is a prime example of being funny to me because the brothers are named Uz and Buz. I love the rhyming of the names and the names themselves. I get a kick out of that! Now, someone else might not even think that’s funny.
- Out of Context: A lot of funny verses make you think, “uhhh, what?!” and that’s what makes them funny. We either don’t understand the whole context, they are out of context, or we are reading the verse stand-alone. Or what I like to call cherry-picking. This also happens with weird Bible verses. Context makes a HUGE difference in whether a verse is funny, weird, odd, scary, and more.
- Translation: A certain translation can make or break a funny verse. Reading something in NIV may not be funny at all, but in NAS or KJV, it just might be! Some translations translate word for word, and some translate thought by thought. This is where the magic happens. So, I will put the translation next to the verse so you can see where they are coming from. You can find more translations at Bible Gateway.
Funny Bible Verses and Scriptures
Here is a quick reference list of Funny Bible Verses:
- Song of Solomon 4:2
- Acts 2:15
- Galatians 5:12
- Proverbs 11:22
- Judges 7:5
- Genesis 25:30
- Joshua 13:1
- Job 10:10
- Proverbs 31:6
- Jonah 2:10
- 2 Kings 2:23
- Exodus 32:24
- Song of Solomon 7:4
- Proverbs 27:15-16
- Mark 9:34
- Mark 14:52
- 2 Samuel 10:4
- Proverbs 21:9
- 2 Kings 9:20
- 1 Samuel 6:4-5
- Genesis 22:20-21
- Ezekiel 4:12-15
Down below, you will find all the verses and which translation they go with. At the end of the list is a funny video from John Crist on the Bible Verse Lady.
Song of Solomon 4:2 CEV
Your teeth are whiter than sheep freshly washed; they match perfectly, not one is missing
Well, It’s good that Solomon has standards in oral care. White as sheep…check…nothing crooked…check…all of them there….check. Let’s grab coffee!
Acts 2:15 NET Bible
In spite of what you think, these men are not drunk, for it is only nine o’clock in the morning.
Peter wants to clear the air and make sure that everyone knows it’s WAY to early to be drinking.
Galatians 5:12 HSCB
I wish those who are disturbing you might also get themselves castrated!
Woah, there, Paul… that escalated quickly!
Proverbs 11:22 God’s Word Translation
[Like] a gold ring in a pig’s snout, [so] is a beautiful woman who lacks good taste.
Lol being tacky is not just a modern-day issue but even in ancient times.
Genesis 25:30 NASB
and Esau said to Jacob, “Please let me have a swallow of that red stuff there, for I am famished.” Therefore his name was called Edom.
The NASB should get a reward for this one… “swallow of that red stuff.” Sounds like something from Worst Cooks In America.
Judges 7:5 NIV
So Gideon took the men down to the water. There the LORD told him, “Separate those who lap the water with their tongues as a dog laps from those who kneel down to drink.”
Who drinks water like a dog?? This is one of those funny yet odd verses.
Joshua 13:1 NASB
Now Joshua was old and advanced in years when the LORD said to him, “You are old and advanced in years…
Just in case you missed it…Joshua was old and advanced in years.
Job 10:10 NIV
Did you not pour me out like milk and curdle me like cheese.
Lots of ways to describe transformation, you know, like butterflies? Naw, let’s use cheese instead. Cheese is delicious!
Proverbs 31:6 GNT
Alcohol is for people who are dying, for those who are in misery.
This is one of those deep verses that make you chuckle at first, then go…wait, they have a point.
Jonah 2:10 ISV
Then the LORD spoke to the sea creature, and it spewed Jonah onto the dry land.
“Hey, listen, I know I told you to swallow that guy up, but the situation has changed…”
2 Kings 2:23 NIV
From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some boys came out of the town and jeered at him. “Get out of here, baldy!” they said. “Get out of here, baldy!”
Hair problems even haunted those in ancient times…
Exodus 32:24 CSB
So I said to them, ‘Whoever has gold, take it off,’ and they gave it to me. When I threw it into the fire, out came this calf!”
Poof, a cow just showed up out of the fire… Sure, Aaron. lol
Song of Solomon 7:4 KJV
Thy neck is as a tower of ivory; thine eyes like the fishpools in Heshbon, by the gate of Bathrabbim: thy nose is as the tower of Lebanon which looketh toward Damascus.
Oh, stop it! You are making me blush!
Proverbs 27:15-16 God’s Word Translation
A nagging wife is like water going drip-drip-drip on a rainy day. Whoever can control her can control the wind. He can even pick up olive oil with his right hand.
This is one of those “Oh, snap…” verses that is funny but true.
Mark 9:34 NIV
But they kept quiet because on the way they had argued about who was the greatest.
Power struggle and when the greatest was with them, Jesus!
Mark 14:52 CSB
but he left the linen cloth behind and ran away naked.
This was one of those days that you really wished you wore underwear.
2 Samuel 10:4 NET Bible
So Hanun seized David’s servants and shaved off half of each one’s beard. He cut the lower part of their robes off so that their buttocks were exposed, and then sent them away.
I don’t even know what to say…
Proverbs 21:9 CSB
Better to live on the corner of a roof than to share a house with a nagging wife.
Once again, Proverbs is giving us an “oh snap” verse!
2 Kings 9:20 NLT
The watchman exclaimed, “The messenger has met them, but he isn’t returning either! It must be Jehu son of Nimshi, for he’s driving like a madman.”
Apparently, you don’t need a gas pedal to drive like a madman.
1 Samuel 6:4 Jubilee Bible 2000
Then said they, What shall be the expiation of guilt which we shall pay unto him? They answered, Five golden hemorrhoids and five golden rats, according to the number of the cardinals of the Philistines, for the same plague that is on you is also on your cardinals.
Golden hemorrhoids and rats…what a nice gesture.
Genesis 22:20-21 ASV
And it came to pass after these things, that it was told Abraham, saying, Behold, Milcah, she also hath borne children unto thy brother Nahor: 21 Uz his first-born, and Buz his brother, and Kemuel the father of Aram,
Uz and Buz….classic.
Ezekiel 4:12 NLT
Prepare and eat this food as you would barley cakes. While all the people are watching, bake it over a fire using dried human dung as fuel and then eat the bread.”
Human Dung… brings a whole new flavor to smoked food. Try it today!
The Lady Who has a Bible Verse for Every Situation
Ok, so I have to throw this in here cause I love Christian comedian John Crist and think his videos are hilarious. He had a handful of ones called “Bible Verse Lady…” He basically acts like a lady who uses bible verses out of context while shopping or visiting places.
I thought it would be a fun add since we are talking about funny Bible verses and he’s making them funny.
I hope you have enjoyed this post and that it has made you smile. Also, if there is a verse you find funny, that’s not listed…drop it below in the comments.
For more Christian articles and topics, please check out my Bible Page.
Melissa is a passionate minister, speaker and an ongoing learner of the Bible. She has been involved in church and vocational ministry for over 18 years. And is the founder of Think About Such Things. She has the heart to equip the saints by helping them get into the Word of God and fall more in love with Jesus. She also enjoys family, cooking, and reading.
She has spoken in churches in California, Oregon, Texas, and Mexico and has been featured in Guidepost Magazine and All Recipes Magazine. Read More…