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What Does It Mean To Have a Gentle and Quiet Spirit?

In this article we will look at what it means and how to develop a gentle and quiet spirit. We will explore 1 Peter 3:3-4 and what it entails.

The world is constantly telling us to focus on our beauty through magazines, commercials, movies and so much more. We need to be thinner, younger…etc

We spend hundreds on creams, make-up, and cute clothes. And if that still doesn’t calm the craving for beauty we spend thousands and go under the knife.

Gentle and Quiet Spirit

As Christian women, we are always looking for how to enhance our beauty without compromising our faith. Having a gentle and quiet spirit has been cited as one way of acquiring inner beauty that is worthy in the Lord’s sight.

One Scripture that points us in the right direction, and helps us understand more about beauty is 1 Peter 3:3-4 (AMP) which says, 

Your adornment must not be merely external—with interweaving and elaborate knotting of the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or [being superficially preoccupied with] dressing in expensive clothes; but let it be [the inner beauty of] the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality and unfading charm of a gentle and peaceful spirit, [one that is calm and self-controlled, not overanxious, but serene and spiritually mature] which is very precious in the sight of God.

I like the amplified version of this verse because it gives another level of depth and understanding.

This Scripture has made many women wonder whether they are to let go of physical beauty completely, and trade it in for inner beauty.

When read in context, it is addressing married women, and giving them a nugget of wisdom on how to become beautiful women that their husbands can admire. And a word of wisdom to future wives…

The Bible verse above is telling us the source of beauty, it does not tell us that we should forget about our outward appearance as Christian women.

When our beauty comes from the inside, it reflects on the outside in how we behave and treat others. We are told that the inner beauty we need is of a gentle and quiet spirit. 

What Does it Mean to Have a Gentle and Quiet Spirit?

developing a gentle and quiet spirit

So, you may be asking, what does it mean to have a gentle and quiet spirit?

How can you have a gentle and quiet spirit yet you are anything but quiet? I know I am talking to some women here! And I am one of them.

We have different personalities, and the more extroverted ones tend to be more dramatic than introverts. In fact, it even appears that only introverts can have a gentle and quiet spirit. But is this true?

A gentle and quiet spirit is something that every Christian woman can have regardless of her personality. It is the state of her inner being developed with the help of the Holy Spirit.

Having a gentle and quiet spirit means that you are at rest and not restless, content and not contentious, forgiving and not vengeful, kind and not rude, patient and not hasty, among others. 

Let’s look at some qualities below that point to a gentle and quiet spirit and how you can develop a gentle and quiet spirit.

1. Temperate

In this day and era we don’t hear the word temperate. A woman who is temperate is one who is calm and controlled. She does not have extreme reactions or behavior, and is not easily angered.

She has learned to control her emotions, and does not overreact to situations. She gathers facts, and prays over her responses. 

Being temperate is only possible with a gentle and quiet spirit, which prevents a woman from arguments and lots of drama.

Such a woman understands that some things are better left unsaid. She also handles difficult situations with calmness, and desires to resolve issues amicably.

A Christian woman with a gentle and quiet spirit is not given to yelling and throwing things around when she is upset. 

This can be developed in our lives by finding our peace from God. When something happens instead of reacting towards that person….stop and go spend time with God instead. Let your emotions calm down before you give a response.

2. At Rest

A Christian woman with a gentle and quiet spirit is one who is at rest. She has learned to rest in the Lord, and not worry about many things in life.

She trusts that God’s got her back, and she can look forward to better days. She does not try to make things happen on her own but rests in God knowing that at the right time, He will act. 

Psalm 62:1 says, “Truly my soul finds rest in God; my salvation comes from him.”

A spirit at rest is one that trusts God, and believes in His mighty saving power. This is the kind of rest we need to have in our spirits, it will guard us from being restless. When we are at rest, we can comfortably wait on God without making a fuss. 

One of the best ways we can grow and develop rest in our lives is my having set time aside every day solely devoted to Jesus. This devotional time can bring rest to your sole as you spend time in His presence.

3. Content  

Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content:Philippians 4:11

A woman with a gentle and quiet spirit is one who is content despite the circumstances she faces in life (Philippians 4:11). She may have needs but knows that only God can provide for her.

If married, the woman can be content with what her husband provides for her and the family even if it is not much at the moment. She focuses on appreciating what he does for her instead of putting him down for not providing more. 

When we are content as Christians, we will not be busy envying others for what they have or focusing on what we don’t have. Our eyes are on what is in front of us knowing that our circumstances can change at any minute.

A content woman trusts that God can work miracles in her life, and she doesn’t worry about how to meet her needs. 

If feeling content is hard for you then I would encourage you create a thankful list. Write all the things God has blessed you with. Then ask the Lord to keep this list at the forefront of your mind and heart.

4. Gracious

Having a gentle and quiet spirit means being gracious with others especially where they have treated you unkindly or rudely.

In the course of interacting with others daily, you are bound to come across people who are inconsiderate, rude, overbearing, demeaning, etc.

As a Christian woman with a gentle and quiet spirit, you are not to retaliate but to graciously respond with dignity. Or as I like to call it…keeping it classy! It’s not the time to remove your earrings and knock some sense into someone. 

Christian meme Holy Spirit

A woman with grace will overlook an offence if it calls for it, and instead respond in a loving manner. A gracious woman does not argue with others even though tempted to do so. She responds like Jesus would. She speaks her mind when she needs to, and does so with polite language and gentleness. 

It is not easy to always maintain a gentle and quiet spirit but with God’s help, it is possible. As Christian women we are going through a process of sanctification daily, and God is helping us become the women He created us to be. As God works in our hearts, we become transformed, and our behavior changes. 

If you struggle with having a gentle and quiet spirit today, pray and ask the Holy Spirit to help you. Be patient as He works in you to bring out the beautiful woman of God that you are. God transforms us as we yield to Him. 

And don’t forget to leave a comment below. I would love to know what God is doing in your life.

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Tuesday 2nd of August 2022

Thank you for the best, most helpful definition of gentle and quiet I have every read. Very practical and helpful. Much appreciated!


Sunday 6th of February 2022

Hi Melissa

An article that I should have been reading before today! I am struggling with this area of my life more than any. I was saved around 5 years ago and my Husband is not a Christian. I find it really difficult as I have a 9 year old daughter, and my Husband and I are at opposite ends of the scale so to speak. My temper and impatience often get in the way. Thank you for your words of wisdom, I know what I have to do, I just find it so difficult at times, God Bless you


Tuesday 12th of October 2021

this is a wonderful article ave taken notes and am blesses thank you