How to Dismantle A Spirit of Offense

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Let’s look at what a spirit of offense looks like in the Bible and in our lives. And how we can knock it out of our lives.

Dismantling a spirit of offense pin

I’ve been wanting to talk about the spirit of offense. It’s something that has been burning on my heart for a while. 

I have noticed in the past several years how much offense has taken place in the church, relationships, politics, and notably the worst… social media.

I have experienced it first hand. I know I have offended people and been offended. And there is a good chance you have too. Unless you live like a hermit in the mountains. 

At this point, I think it’s an epidemic in our society and it needs to be talked about. 

As a Christian, I don’t look at offense as just an emotional reaction to someone’s opinion or action. I think it goes far deeper into an issue of our flesh and the demonic realm. 

And I hope this post helps you become more aware of your own heart and what is happening to those around you. I also hope that the tools I provide will help you dismantle a spirit offense in your life.

Alright, lets dig into the Bible and see what offense looks and acts like. 

Offense in the Bible: What does the Bible say about being offended?

Offense in the Bible

We see the word offended being used 25 times in the KJV. You may think, 

“Hey…that’s not that much…it’s not that big of a deal.” But the thing is it is a BIG deal when you read what these scriptures are saying. 

This will be quick view in the Hebrew and Greek then below in Signs of a Spirit Offense section we will break down these verses some more. 

So, let’s first look at the Hebrew word for offense. 

A brother offended (pasha) is harder to be won than a strong city: and their contentions are like the bars of a castle. – Proverbs 18:19

פָּשַׁע pâshaʻ, paw-shah’; a primitive root (identical with through the idea of expansion); to break away (from just authority), i.e. trespass, apostatize, quarrel:—offend, rebel, revolt, transgress(-ion, -or).

Now for the Greek word for offense. 

And then shall many be offended (skandalízō), and shall betray one another, and shall hate one another. -Matthew 24:10

σκανδαλίζω skandalízō, skan-dal-id’-zo; from G4625; to entrap, i.e. trip up (figuratively, stumble (transitively) or entice to sin, apostasy or displeasure):—(make to) offend.

So, we can see the Bible definition of offense in both languages. Slightly different yet very similar. 

Signs of a Spirit of Offense in Your Life or in Others

Since we have looked at the meaning of offense in the Strong Concordance. Let’s see how offense manifests in our lives and/or in the lives of those around us. 

The Spirit Offense Causes Division

The biggest key element that offense does is break up unity. It loves to conquer and divide. We see this in the scripture above Proverbs 18:19 and in 

A brother offended (pasha) is harder to be won than a strong city: and their contentions are like the bars of a castle. -Proverbs 18:19

Cracks in our walls. Shows the offense causes division.

Contention is to have a heated argument. It puts bars or gap between you and that person. 

I mean think about when you are offended you want to let that person know how wrong they are and then create space away from that person.

You become upset, and sometimes even disgusted by what that other person said or did. 

“I can’t believe they would say that…don’t they….” or “OMG, I can’t believe they did that…how could…”

The Gospel Offends 

Even Jesus said that He came not to bring peace (Matthew 10:34-35) but that the gospel will bring division. Why? Because the world is offended by it and we are not of this world. (John 15:19)

Post or say something about faith to non-believers and you will offended people and it will cause division. You are not the one being offended but the spirit of this world is and they will let you know it.

Offense in the Church 

But what happens when fellow brothers and sisters in the Lord become offended with each other? Or how about denominations being offended by other denominations? Yup, it’s true…

I firmly believe this type of division in detrimental to the body of Christ because it causes division. And the church needs to be united. 

Unity is extremely important in our pursuit of God and His calling. 

Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity! It is like the precious ointment upon the head, that ran down upon the beard, even Aaron’s beard: that went down to the skirts of his garments;
 As the dew of Hermon, and as the dew that descended upon the mountains of Zion: for there the Lord commanded the blessing, even life for evermore.
Psalm 133

The power of unity is likened to the anointing oil that touches not just the head (leaders/ministers in the church) but goes all the way down to every single member of the church. 

This post is not about the anointing so I won’t go into it here. But the anointing of the Holy Spirit is powerful as it protects, heals, and sets us apart. 

I love what Pete Harper says:

“In the Godhead we discover perfect and infinite unity, and what exists in the Godhead God desires to see in Christ’s church. It can be a fraction only, humanly tender and susceptible to wounding, but it must be the same kind. Just as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit honor one another, so must we. In our individual focus of worship and service toward the Godhead, we are to find the sacrificial self-denying unity of the Body of Christ—and nowhere else. “In Him we have redemption” (Eph. 1:7, NKJV); in Him we are called with a “holy calling” (2 Tim. 1:9, NKJV). Read More…

The Spirit Offense is a Form of Self Righteousness

“I’m right and you are wrong…” How many times have we felt that way? 

That in itself is not offense but it’s what you do with that can become offense. 

It’s what the Greek word for offense implies. 

Skandalon is originally referred to as the bait in a trap. 

When something happens or is said it is like bait for a trap. Will you engage and be trapped by offense or will you not take the bait and move on? Or for people on social media…scroll on.

I like what Perry Stone says about this word Skandalon in There’s a Crack in your Armor,

“We derive our English words scandal and scandalize from this word. When a trap is set for an animal, there must be some form of camouflage to hide it from the sight of the unsuspecting creature. However, the smell of the bait, like a magnet to a magnet, pulls the animal off it’s journey to investigate the bait, and suddenly the trap catches the animal.”

A lot of times we don’t realize we are being set up for offense. It’s hidden behind our pride and self-righteousness. 

The Pharisees and Sadducees of Jesus’s day were extremely self-righteous and they were offended by Jesus left and right. (Matthew 15:12)

It is said that self-righteousness to God is the equivalent to filthy rags. (Isaiah 64:6)

No, not a dirty dishrag or something you clean the toilet with. It’s actually referring to a menstrual rag! Kind of gross but it pretty eye-opening at the same time. Your blood doesn’t cleanse, only Jesus does.  

The Spirit Offense Stirs up Hatred & Anger

The Pharisees and Sadducees were so offended by Christ that it made them go crazy to the point they wanted Him dead.

Offense breeds hatred and anger. I have seen it first hand with people I know who were once Christian that leave the faith to live a lifestyle contrary to God’s way. They are so offended by our beliefs that they hate us.

It breaks my heart and my prayer is that these people will become walking testimonies like the prodigal son.

This is what offense does it divides and brings hatred.

Then shall they deliver you up to be afflicted, and shall kill you: and ye shall be hated of all nations for my name’s sake. And then shall many be offended, and shall betray one another, and shall hate one another. -Matthew 24:9-10

The Spirit Offense Casts off Love

1 Corinthians 13 describes love as:

  • Patient
  • Kind
  • Does Not Envy 
  • Does Not Boast 
  • Is Not Proud
  • Does Not Dishonor others 
  • It’s NOT self-seeking 
  • It is NOT easily angered
  • It Keeps no Record of wrongs
  • Does not Delight in Evil 
  • Rejoices in Truth
  • It Always Protects
  • It Always Trusts
  • It Always Hopes
  • It Always Preservers 

Offense can NOT coexist with love. It’s absolutely impossible. If there is true Godly love there then offense will not be able to ensnare you. 

But let us not be nieve It can still tempt or bait you to fall for it. We must be rooted and grounded in Christ. Bearing the fruit of the Spirit and remaining in Him. 


To summarize the signs of a spirit of offense here is a quick bullet point list. 

  • Creating Division
  • Self Righteous 
  • Hatred & Anger 
  • Casts off Love

How to Dismantle and Deal with Spirit of Offense

Learn how to knock out a spirit of offense

Now that we have looked at the 4 signs of offense. What can we do to dismantle or break its power in our lives? Is there a way for us to not walk in offense? 

I believe we can learn to guard our hearts against offense with the help of the Holy Spirit. 

When You Feel Offended…

Forgive the Person(s)

Forgiveness….one of the powerful things we can do when offended. Majority of the time offense is just a misunderstanding or accident. Sometimes a person didn’t mean to offend you. Let it go and forgive. 

Now if the person or people were being intentional about causing to offend you…then still forgive them.

No matter what you have to bring it to Jesus and let go of your offense. And ask God to forgive you for being offended.

Forgiving breaks the power of offense.

Eat Some Humble Pie

Remind yourself that you are not always right or perfect either and that you have probably done the same to others. 

You don’t have it all together and you should be patient and kind to others no matter where they are at in life. 

Forgiveness and humbling yourself go hand and hand.

Pray

This also ties into forgiveness.

As you to talk to the Lord ask Him to help you out in this area. Ask Him for more love, and kindness. And pray for the person or group that offended you. Bless them and ask Jesus to touch them with His love and presence. 

Should I Talk it Out?

Yes and No. Actually I can’t tell you if this will be good for you or not. Every person is different and who you talk to really makes a difference. 

It’s easy to go down a slippery slope sharing your offense with a friend and then they too become offended by the person. This can turn into gossip or slander if not careful. Or it can just be a way for you to feel validated in your offense. 

I’m a verbal processor and I know I have to be careful with this. Many times I have had to repent. 

But at the same time, it can be fruitful to talk to someone. My advice is to do all the three things above first before talking to someone.

And open up with “Hey so I’m offended by this I need your help. Please help me to see the bigger picture so I can walk in God’s love…” 

Are You Being Offended by Social Media Posts?

The dreaded political, spiritual, rude, weird, mean, odd things people post…

Scroll on my friend…scroll on. Don’t engage. If things really bug you learn to set filters on your Facebook and Instagram. You can manually unfollow certain people, groups, or pages.

Or you can install web browser extensions that filter out or kill your feed completely. For example Kill Feed and Nudge. These are also great if you get easily distracted by social media and need to be working.

Overall, don’t let the enemy steal away your time and peace over a post you can be offended by. If people are posting a ton of online offense bait. Then just simply remove it.

When Someone Else Is Offended

This one is a little more tricky. You can have control of how you deal with your emotions and reactions to things. 

As for someone else you don’t. But what you can do is show love, be kind, if need be say sorry, and pray for them. 

But be aware you can be sweeter than sweet tea and they might get mean and nasty with you still. 

Even though it’s hard…try to be the bigger man and whip out the WWJD bracelet as a reminder.

Hopefully, they will realize and be able to remove the offense. 


I hope this post has helped you. I know for myself studying this topic has really opened my eyes to be more careful with my heart and my words with others. 

I would love to hear from you so please drop me a comment below and share your thoughts. 

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8 Comments

  1. This has been very helpful for me. I have been struggling with 2 different friends that I have probably offended. Neither one will respond when I reach out. I want to apologize but cannot due to the severed contact. I have prayed extensively and nothing has happened. I know better than to move before God has shown me that I should. I am waiting on the Lord now. Thank you for your post.

    1. Hi Melissa, thanks so much for this article. It has really opened my eyes. Gid bless you and give you strength.

  2. This was very Good Advice Thank you

  3. I am a 28 yr man been with my wife for quite sometime now. We have had a fair share of offences from both sides of the tracks. Jesus is the answer it all most definitely. Whether you’re constantly being offended or responding to someone who is God is the peacemaker. Mercy and grace and speaking the truth in love. Stepping aside and checking your own heart and relationship with God should always be the first step. Only when you have self evaluated and communicated with God will you be able to righteously assess the situation. This post is on point and very helpful. Thank you for putting your spiritual insight out there for others to find. You are a light shining in dark place!

  4. Kenia Salas says:

    I appreciate this so much, the fact that this insight is grounded in Biblical wisdom makes it that much more powerful. I knew that I needed to pray that God purify my heart because I’ve been walking in a spirit of offense with my gwandma, which makes me feel so guilty and ashamed because I definitely recognized it within myself. I have to just remember that God created me to be good and to be a reflection of who He is in order to overcome… Thank you for this once again! Blessingsss!

    1. Daphne A Lee says:

      I have grown in GOD I believe its safe to say but I experience an offense today and I really don’t believe it was meant torward me personally but I was still offended. I Love GOD so much that I’m letting nothing separate me from him anymore. So I came searching for help and I can Truly say that your writing have helped me to see things better Through GOD’S Eyes!
      Thank you.

  5. Sue Hardman says:

    Thank you for the wonderful, biblical advice on this matter. I’m looking for words that can be spoken aloud to defeat the offense in the spiritual realm. I’m on a mission to compose a “sword of the Spirit” phrase that will fatally afflict this demonic presence. Through the power of Christ. If anything comes to mind I’d love to hear your suggestions.

    1. Kathleen Waller says:

      Yes, always go at it with the OPPOSITE SPIRIT. So then, bless bless bless!! Love is the opposite and so just remember, always do this (bless) even tho you don’t FEEL like it. Step out by praying and thanking God for them or situation in your life. Pray blessings upon them. Speak these blessings out loud and praise God!!! The enemy will flee. I remember uttering under my breath one day “ I REFUSE to be offended!” Wow!! I could literally feel a release happen in the air and the room filled with peace! I was astounded at how this person quickly changed at absolutely stopped her behaviour! I didnt even utter this around her either! God Bless you.