In this article, we will have the amazing pleasure of hearing from guest author, Marilyn. She will unpack 12 different keys to will help you develop a Godly marriage. These tips our applicable to your daily lives. So, come with an open heart and let’s learn to become a Godly couple!
What kind of marriage must Adam and Eve have had before the fall of man? They had no knowledge of sin, and they were walking in perfect harmony with God.
The beauty that must have come out of that relationship is what we should strive for in our marriage. Unfortunately, we live in a fallen world, and unless we crucify our flesh daily, our sinful nature seeks self and has little love for others.
When my husband and I got married, our marriage was far from godly. My husband was not a believer, and my faith was lukewarm at best. We both wanted to do what was right, but deception and sinful desires ran rampant.
A lot of tears and hurting hearts resulted in the first several years. My relationship with Jesus struggled as I held on to bitterness and resentment. My husband’s struggle with pornography became a chasm between us that ultimately also became a path to Christ.
It was a struggle. Yes, we loved one another, but when two self-seeking people are married, there is little harmony. A godly marriage is not for your own benefit, but rather for the glory of God. Your marriage is a representation of Christ and His bride. What kind of picture are you showing to the world through your marriage relationship?
Keys To A Godly Marriage
1. Cornerstone of Christ
Each spouse needs to have his own personal relationship with Christ. Your marriage should be built upon the Rock that will never fail you. It is only through the power of His love that you can learn how to bring Glory to God in your marriage.
If your husband is not a believer, take heart. The Bible tells us that wives can, by their conduct, be able to win their husbands for Christ.
Each one of you needs to spend personal alone time with Christ. You can not build that relationship for your spouse. He needs his own personal relationship. A house divided will not stand. Through the difficult years of our marriage, it was only because of Christ that our marriage prevailed. The enemy did his best to overthrow it, but God had a plan and a purpose for it, and He always prevails.
Being vulnerable with your spouse can be very difficult. Or at least I found it so. It is still difficult to open my heart fully to my husband, but the communion that comes from being open and honest with him is a great blessing.
Marriage should be THE place where a husband and wife can be open with each other, share their ups and downs, without condemnations and criticism.
If you discover that you have built walls around your heart, take care to remove them. Bring the hurt that caused the walls to the foot of the Cross. Jesus is our healer and He will restore all things.
A promise without a commitment is no promise at all. Divorce was never an option, even in our darkest days. We were both committed to our marriage, till death did us part.
There were moments when I regretted that I had married at all. I did not feel loved at all, and the pain was deep. Yet, because of the commitment that I had made, I knew I would not leave my husband.
Commit to your marriage with your whole heart. Lean on God in every circumstance, and He will give you the strength to keep loving your spouse.
***If you are being abused, get help. Tell someone that you can trust. Your commitment to your marriage does not mean that you endure abuse.
If we could see the power of prayer in the spiritual realm, we would spend a lot more time praying daily. Prayer is what changes hearts.
Your husband needs your prayers, more than you know. The enemy is out to kill, steal and destroy. A praying couple has a mighty tool in the spiritual warfare we are in.
>> Learn more about the power of prayer and intercession on Think About Such Things Prayer Page
Don’t lie to each other, or keep things from each other. Be honest in the sight of ALL men. Be honest with your spouse. Sometimes this looks a lot like vulnerability. Don’t keep things from your spouse, no matter how small.
However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. – Ephesians 5:33
I find that wives often have a difficult time with this.
To reverence, our husband means we hold him in high regard. He is valuable in our eyes. How often do we treat our husband like a treasure?
Both husband and wife need respect from their spouse, but for men, respect is a greater need. In Ephesians 5:33, we read the wife should see to it that she reverences her husband.
Each of you will fall and need forgiveness from your spouse. Make the effort to easily forgive. Don’t hold grudges. Forgive even when the other is not repentant. Show grace to your spouse in his moments of weakness.
God gives grace to the humble but resists the proud.
Pride comes in many different shapes and forms and can be very deceptive. A quiet and submissive wife on the outside can be full of pride on the inside.
Pride keeps us away from fellowship with our Lord and will cause us to fall. Seek humility in your marriage and keep a humble heart before the Lord.
God is love, and when there is no love between a husband and wife, you can be sure that God is not in the midst of that. Love is often a choice we need to make, it is not just a feeling.
True, biblical love is sacrificial and seeks to serve others. Love is kind, gentle, patient, easy to be entreated, and longsuffering. It is not boastful, does not seek its own, is not easily provoked, thinks no evil, and does not rejoice in sin but rejoices in the truth.
It bears all things, believes all things, hoped all things, endures all things. Love never fails.
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. – 1 Corinthians 13:8
Do not neglect to communicate with each other. My love language is quality time so I always notice when there is a lack of communication between my husband and me.
Share your day with your spouse and ask about his. Ask your husband how you might pray for him. This will give you a glimpse into his heart if he will share with you.
Learn your spouses’ body language, and learn to listen well. Heartfelt communication will bring you closer together as one flesh.
We need others the encourage and exhort us. My husband and I have found that our moments of discouragement are nearly always singular.
As in, it’s only one of us that gets discouraged at a time. I believe this is so the other will help to lift up and encourage the discouraged. Be an encouraging wife that seeks to build up her husband daily.
There should be no divisions among us, but we should be perfectly united in mind and thought. That is a very hard concept to grasp! How can we be perfectly united? This is only possible by letting our minds be renewed through the gospel of Jesus Christ.
My husband became a Born Again Bible Believing Man 9 years after we got married. The change that came into our home and marriage was staggering. I realized how far I had slipped and sought to return to my relationship with Christ.
Our marriage is still not perfect. We both seek to crucify our flesh and give up our self-will, but this is a daily battle.
Your marriage should glorify God, and by making Jesus your Cornerstone, your marriage relationship will thrive. Marriage is supposed to be a beautiful thing, and when we align our ways with the ways of God, we are the more blessed by it. Use these 12 keys as a way to grow in a godly marriage.
Pursue God. Ultimately, He is the one that changes hearts and draws us to holiness.
>> Check out Bible Verses on Unity
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Hi, I’m Marilyn, wife to my husband of 12 years. First and foremost, I desire to glorify God in everything I do. I am a writer over at keepersathome.ca and seek to encourage and inspire other wives to be godly wives. I am a homeschooling mom to five children, and also encourage others in their motherhood journey.
Melissa is a passionate minister, speaker and an ongoing learner of the Bible. She has been involved in church and vocational ministry for over 18 years. And is the founder of Think About Such Things. She has the heart to equip the saints by helping them get into the Word of God and fall more in love with Jesus. She also enjoys family, cooking, and reading.
She has spoken in churches in California, Oregon, Texas, and Mexico and has been featured in Guidepost Magazine and All Recipes Magazine. Read More…