In this article we will look at a collection of fun Bible puns and church puns. These would be great to share during teachings, sermons, or just with friends. So, let’s get started…
Ok, confession time, I love a good pun. I also, love Jesus. This makes Bible puns right up my alley. Then adding church puns to the mix. I am one happy camper.
Much like my Bible Jokes and Bible riddles posts. We all know that these are very much dad joke approved…..pure cheese. Which makes them awesome and cringe-worthy all wrapped up in a neat little pun package.
“There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.” ― Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol
So, enjoy these, share them with your friends and watch them roll their eyes or smile (or more like cringe) and even chuckle. Either way, it’s worth it!
If you would like to hop around. Just click on the types of puns you want to read. Or just scroll through and enjoy them all.
Check out some >> 22 Funny Bible Verses and Scriptures and The MOST Weird Bible Verses That You Never Heard Before
Funny Bible Puns
In this section, enjoy some awesome Bible one-liners and loads of puns about Bible characters. I also scatter a few funny Bible pun memes!
How long did Cain hate his brother?
As long as he was Abel.
Where was Solomon’s Temple located?
On the side of his head.
Why did Samson try to avoid arguing with Delilah?
He didn’t want to split hairs
What kind of man was Boaz before he married?
Ruthless.
What sort of lights were on Noah’s Ark?
Flood lights.
Who was the biggest financial wizard in the Bible?
Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.
When is the first math homework problem mentioned in the Bible?
When God told Adam and Eve to go forth and multiply.
Need an Ark built?
I Noah guy.
Why wouldn’t the Pharaoh let the Hebrews go?
He was in ‘de Nile.
How do we know Peter was a rich fisherman?
By his net income.
When is medicine first mentioned in the Bible?
When God gave Moses two tablets.
Who was the fastest guy in the Bible?
Adam: he was first in the human race.
What’s a salesman’s favorite Scripture passage?
The Great Commission.
What’s a missionary’s favorite kind of car?
A convertible.
Which biblical character was the youngest to speak foul language?
Job, because he cursed the day he was born.
21 Church Puns
In this collection of religious puns. I share some I have found on church signs, memes, and more! Once again I have scattered a few churn pun memes!
Choose the Bread of Life or you are Toast
We are not Dairy Queen but we have great Sundays
What do they call pastors in Germany?
German Shepherds.
Give Satan an inch and he’ll be a ruler.
Why did the hawk sit on the church steeple?
Because it was a bird of pray.
Forecast: The Son will shine forever
What is the most religious cheese?
Swiss, because it’s holy.
God’s Garden: Lettuce be kind, squash gossips and turnip to church.
What’s a dentist’s favorite hymn?
Crown him with many crowns.
The best vitamin for a Christian is B1.
What’s the best way to settle church disputes?
With canons.
Weather Forecast: God reigns and Son Shines
Seven days without prayer makes one weak.
God answers knee mail.
Be an organ donor. Give your heart to Jesus.
No high like the Most High.
The church is prayer conditioned.
Mosquitos also know there’s power in the blood.
America, the donkey & the elephant won’t help. We must turn back to the lamb.
Exercise Daily: Run from Satan, Walk with God
Who’s the patron saint of poverty?
St. Nickeless.
I hope you enjoyed this collection of Christian puns! I mean who doesn’t love some cheesy puns?
If you want more on Christian humor don’t forget to check my posts below. And feel free to leave me a comment below! I would love to hear what was your favorite pun!
Melissa is a passionate minister, speaker and an ongoing learner of the Bible. She has been involved in church and vocational ministry for over 18 years. And is the founder of Think About Such Things. She has the heart to equip the saints by helping them get into the Word of God and fall more in love with Jesus. She also enjoys family, cooking, and reading.
She has spoken in churches in California, Oregon, Texas, and Mexico and has been featured in Guidepost Magazine and All Recipes Magazine. Read More…